Mixed Feelings

So lately I’ve had mixed feelings about my life. One second I’m madly in love with my wife the second I’m crying in a corner all alone, I feel as if I am the only one that truly understands me. However there is someone else who has a idea. I’m conflicted with my feelings I look at my children and wonder am I doing the best I can or am I just doing and Living life day by day. Some mornings I welcome death even thou it scares me I don’t want too die yet if I pass in my sleep my children live on regardless… lately my love life is falling apart my children feel more and more stress from this covid separating there friends was really hard on them… Money is okay however the need for more is always there. I’m stuck between the guy who is a loving father and a man who no longer recognize himself…